Tag Archives: Hope

Trust the one who gave you life

Life. A beautiful mystery. 

I spent a lot of my time debating the meaning of life and why such a thing exists. Consequently, I asked God a lot of questions about human life.  

I came to one conclusion:

You asked, ‘Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?’

 It is I—and I was talking about things I knew nothing about,  things far too wonderful for me. – Job 42:3 

The meaning of life is too wonderful for us to understand. As humans it is hard to completely understand God, His ways, and His purposes. However the bible does give us an image of the way God is in the details of our lives. 

He had a plan for us before we were formed in our mother’s womb (Jeremiah 1:5). 

Then he knitted us together in our mother’s womb  (Psalm 139:13). 

He gave people the free will to come back to Him (Isaiah 44:22). 

If we make the decision to walk with Him, He leads us through life and gives us an assignment here on the earth (1 Corinthians 7:17). 

And then we can go back to heaven to spend eternity with Him (Titus 1:2). 

This sounds like a beautiful plan, but living it out can sometimes be difficult. The bible mentions the suffering and tribulations we would have while living on this earth. It also ensures that we are always safe with God and that He will carry us through (John 16:33; Psalm 9:9; Isaiah 46:4). 

It can be hard to keep your faith when you are suffering mentally and other people are not. Or when you are going through other difficulties other people aren’t facing. If God is who He says He is, then why does He allow these things to happen? 

I am the first to admit that I don’t have all the answers, but I do know that God has good plans for his children and that His ways are simply different than our ways. 

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.- Isaiah 55:8-9

God has a beautiful plan for you if you decide to walk with Him. Far too wonderful for you to understand. 

I want to encourage you to trust Him with your life. And His plans for your life to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and hope.  

I know the plans I have in mind for you, declares the Lord ; they are plans for peace, not disaster, to give you a future filled with hope. – Jeremiah 29:11 

Christ, the keeper

This is another blog post about the characteristics of Jesus, which is different than how He is portrayed in culture. Today I want to introduce Him as a keeper:

Someone who will carry you through and cause you to endure. 

While I was going through mental suffering, I can honestly say that it was the intimacy with Jesus that has kept me. 

Intimacy with Jesus is like an anchor, one thing that is steady when everything else around you is shaking. In intimacy with Him I found, hope, strength, and the ability to move forwards step by step. 

I will be your God throughout your lifetime until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will carry you. I will carry you along and save you. – Isaiah 46:4

Trials and tribulations are inevitable in this life, whether they take place mentally or in other areas. Furthermore there are numerous examples of people in the bible that went through suffering. One biblical figure I want to highlight in this post is the life of Joseph. This man was a free man and sold into slavery by his own brothers. Later in his life, he was detained as an innocent man. God allowed Joseph to go through a tremendous amount of suffering. However, what is also seen in the story of Joseph is the way God blessed Him in his difficult seasons. The bible says that as a slave and a prisoner, God was with him and allowed everything he did to succeed, favoring him in his difficulties (Genesis 39). Although Joseph went through unfair suffering the Lord carried Him through and caused Him to endure. 

Have you felt imprisoned, because of your mental suffering?

Have you felt like you are not capable to do certain things or to live in a certain way?

When you give your life to Christ, He will keep you through your mental suffering. This will happen in such a way that you’ll look back and question how you kept yourself standing or how you survived certain things. This is one of the benefits of having an intimate relationship with Christ. I don’t know why some people go through mental suffering and others don’t.

However, I do know that Christ will keep you in the midst of it. 

Christ, the rebuilder

I feel called to emphasize characteristics of Jesus that are not enough talked about in our culture. The sole reason I do this is because I experienced Jesus in this way, and I want to share this experience with others. 

In this post, I want to introduce Him as a rebuilder. 

Someone who builds something again after damage or deconstruction. 

I want to focus on a biblical figure known as the woman with the issue of blood (Mark 5: 25-34). This woman was bleeding for twelve years straight. She visited multiple doctors, but none of them were able to heal her. The bible even mentioned that throughout the years her condition only got worse. On a certain day, Jesus happened to be nearby, and she already heard of him. Or how I would like to call it: She had a revelation of who He was. 

She went through the crowds and touched His robe. She had enough faith to know that if she could only touch his robe, she would be healed. In fact, she did get healed. Jesus felt that healing had gone out of him, noticed the woman, and told her: 

Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace. Your suffering is over – Mark 5:34 

Imagine the life of this woman. How damaged and broken areas of her life have been, because of her condition. 

Can you resonate with this woman? Maybe you have been suffering mentally for years and already tried everything. And are other areas of your life affected, because of your mental suffering? 

I want to encourage you by looking at the response of the woman with the issue of blood. She touched his robe, which is a form of intimacy. 

Her life was rebuilt through intimacy with Jesus. So, even when your life seems damaged beyond repair, Jesus has the ability to rebuild your life.  

Because of Jesus, the suffering of this woman was only temporary. And if you surrender your life to Him, this will apply to you as well. Whether he heals you on this side of eternity or whether it’ll be the moment you transition to heaven, your mental suffering is only temporary. 

I will rebuild you my virgin Israel and you will again be happy and dance merrily with your tambourines. – Jeremiah 31:4 

Christ, the surgeon

My heart needs a surgeon, my soul needs a friend – Run to the father 

During my life, I’ve come across lots of people that have an opinion about Jesus or claim to know Him. The ideas I refer to are mostly negative and not even close to the truth. If you are one of those people that think to know Jesus and if this opinion carries a negative connotation, let me reintroduce Him to you: 

As a surgeon. 

Someone that operates on people to heal wounds. 

Psychological treatment is very helpful and necessary, but unable to truly heal emotional wounds. I learned a lot of tools to deal with emotions, thought patterns, and toxic behaviours. But none of these treatments were able to heal the trauma that was underneath. 

However, Jesus is able, because the one who made your heart is the only one that has the ability to heal your heart. 

He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. – Psalm 147:3

In practice, this healing is achieved by letting Him in. Let Him reintroduce Himself as a healer and learn to express your pain to Him. He will lead you toward your healing through His word (the bible) and His presence. 

I know a lot of people that walk through life with deep emotional pain and shrug it away as ‘ this is life’. Pain is certainly a part of life here on earth, however, your life does not have to be marked or defined by pain. 

Jesus sees your hurt and cares about you. 

He will heal you or He will give you the strength to endure the emotional pain you are experiencing. 

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak – Isaiah 40:29 

I want to apologize to you if the world gave you a wrong perception of who Jesus is.  

We refer to the gospel as good news. This is because Jesus is the good news. Yes, He died on the cross for our sins so we can be made right with God. 

But, He also experienced enough pain while being here on earth to understand you. 

We serve a God that felt emotional pain (Matthew 26:38), cares for our emotional pain, and has the ability to heal our emotional pain. 

Your life does not have to be marked or defined by pain.

Your redeemer is alive.

It is not over

‘… many suicides happen impulsively in moments of crisis with a breakdown in the ability to deal with life stresses, … ’. – World health organization (https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/suicide) 

Suicide is often a side effect of severe depression. The black and white thinking that often comes along with a depressive episode tricks your brain into thinking that there is no way out. 

I am here to encourage you that whatever your situation is, and how impossible it may seem, it is not over. At moments when life sweeps you over, and you feel too weak to carry on, Jesus wants to show his strength and make up for your weakness. At moments when the mountain in front of you is that big, that it makes you question whether to stay alive. Know that there is no mountain that Jesus is not able to move. 

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. – 2 corinthians 12:9 

I often found myself stuck in black and white thinking. I always had thought patterns along the lines of: ‘ I would never recover from my mental illnesses’ or ‘I would never get over certain traumas’. Because of the severity of the diagnoses I had at the time, medically speaking, there was indeed a small chance I would be able to function healthily. 

Yet, I also believed that Jesus loved me. Therefore, He would never allow me to be in a situation which I would not be able to handle with Him. 

And I was right. 

During my recovery process, I became more sensitive to His voice and he showed me exactly which way to go, one step at a time. 

At moments when the mountain in front of you is that big, it makes you question whether to stay alive. Know that Jesus wants to show you what to do in your situation. At times He will show you the way to go and at other times He will encourage you to stay still and trust in Him. 

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” – Isaiah 30:21 

To medicate or not to medicate

I want to start this post with the statement that I’m not a licensed psychiatrist and that you should always put their advice above any other. 

However, I have been on high doses of medication for mental illness for 3,5 years and I have also successfully quit that medication. Starting and quitting mental health medication is an entire journey in itself and, with this motivation I would like to advise you. 

It was explained to me as if you could see your mental illness as a broken leg and medication as crutches. It is an amazing tool that’ll help you move forward, but you will still have to deal with your broken leg. For the reason that you cannot walk on crutches for the rest of your life. The goal is for your leg to be healed in such a way that you do not need any crutches anymore. The same goes for your mental condition. 

This process can take years and please take your time. 

However, I do think being dependent on these medications for many decades should not be the intention. There are always cases where someone will have to be in a wheelchair for the rest of their lives, and the same goes for medication that helps you cope with mental illness.

On the other hand, if you do not belong in this category, I am speaking to you. 

A reason why a lot of people keep lingering on their medication is because it is really hard to quit if you’ve taken it for a long time. Personally, I suffered from a lot of withdrawal symptoms and because of this I would advise you to take as little of a dose as possible. Take whatever  you need to be able to function. The same advice goes for whether to start using medication. If you are able to go on with your daily activities, I would advise to not begin with medication. 

Therefore, combine your use of medication with constant physiological treatment. In this way, you will practically learn how to handle your symptoms. 

My last piece of advice is, if you want to quit with your medication, that you are stronger than you think. And It gets worse, before it gets better. 

Depending on the duration of your medication use, there will be a withdrawal period at first. This is the hardest part. However, if you find a way to get through that, the feeling of being in touch with your emotions and the clarity will be worth it. 

My biggest motivation for enduring my severe withdrawal symptoms was you. I wanted to show people that there is life after severe mental illness, and that it is not a world you have to stay stuck in. 

Quitting my cocktail of medication was terrifying and at times I thought I was not able to keep going, but with good guidance from professionals I (with the grace of God) made it happen. 

The use of medication is not a world where you have to stay stuck in. 

I will be your God throughout your lifetime until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.- Isaiah 46:4 

To the Suicidal one: You don’t want to die

You don’t want to die.

Death is no solution.  

Having suicidal thoughts is a side effect of a severe depression, which means that when you are suicidal your mental health is remarkably bad. 

Depression puts your mind in a negative cognition. So everything is perceived through a more pessimistic lens. Therefore are the chances high that when your mental health recovers your suicidal thoughts will fade as well. 

The first sprinkle of hope… 

You don’t want to die, you want to end the emotional pain you have. Life can be hard and painful, but also so so beautiful. I don’t have an immediate solution for the agony that comes with being alive now. But I do want to change your perspective on the fact that everything is temporary. Your situation may seem hopeless, but a change of perspective, maybe with the help of someone else, will lead to better days. Or even happiness.

The second sprinkle of hope… 

I once read a quote about that when someone commits suicide they transfer the pain they’ve been carrying themselves to their loved ones. Personally, I couldn’t agree more. I don’t want to talk you into guilt. I just want to state the truth. You think a successful suicide attempt will be the solution for your situation but it simply is not. 

Don’t take me wrong I know what living in severe emotional pain for longer periods of time feels like. And I’m giving this advice out of the experience. The only way out of your struggles is being brave and looking your pain right in the eye. And heal from thereon.

It is tremendously hard, but definitely possible. When I realized the only way out was to face (in my case) my traumas. I found solace in the fact that I didn’t have to do it by myself.

For I am the Lord your God

who takes hold of your right hand

and says to you, Do not fear;

I will help you. – Isaiah 41:13-14 

I found rest, strength, and ultimate deliverance in Christ. His word strengthened me in ways that I can’t describe. As I was sorting out my pain I found peace in knowing that the one who holds the universe holds me by my hand.

This was my solution.